Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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