yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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