RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
