i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
