i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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