I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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