She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
