I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
