he puts the penis in happiness.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
