He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
4 words: hood of his car
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
When are your genitals available?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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