she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
