You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
