They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
