every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Is it because I queefed?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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