Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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