I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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