Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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