I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
