Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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