We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
