Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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