You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
