Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I came so hard my ears popped.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
