uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
