I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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