So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
