ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
