you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
