Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
