On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
