Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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