you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
