am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
