Dual....:-)
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Farmville is her only friend.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
