so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
