everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
