sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
