My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
