You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
