He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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