shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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