I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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