dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
