I CAN MOONWALK!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Randomize
