if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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