i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
you had me at cake vodka
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
