i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
