i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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