I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
