i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
