Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just googled if crying burns calories
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
