Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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