I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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