Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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