Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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